yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you would pick up someone in the library
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i think i just lost a toe
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
