I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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