im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
