I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
