I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
