I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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