i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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