I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
