Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
