I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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