idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
