Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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