We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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