Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
