do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
