Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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