are you so shy because you have an std?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
