xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
