Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
