nut hugger
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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