In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
