Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
