it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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