why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
