it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize