Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
