just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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