Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
