My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
