Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
