If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
