Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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