When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
