he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
