I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
