I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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