Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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