I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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