I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
