I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
