Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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