how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
