careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
