just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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