His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize