I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
