what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize