the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
