one might say we're banned from that church
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
