you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Houston, we have a squirter
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
