Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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