no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
