Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
