Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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