I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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