Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
