Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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