her vagine was all disorganized.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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