And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize