My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
